In December '11, I started my journey towards having RNY gastric bypass. Last week, I had my surgical consult, and first appointment with 1 of my 2 registered dietitians. In the next 2 months, I've got all kinds of tests to be cleared for surgery. I've also got to lose 10% of my body weight, which is about 35 pounds. Yes, you did that math right. I weigh almost 350 pounds.
Don't get me wrong. I'm so excited to be finally doing something about my obesity. And I'm doing it for all the right reasons. I want to see my 3 kids grow up. I want to enjoy a long life with my husband. Realistically, even though I do not currently have any problems like diabetes or heart failure, it's only a matter of time at my size. At the same time, I'm scared. My life will change in ways I can only imagine now, being a pre-op patient. Some of those changes seem so difficult and intimidating. Giving up sugar for life? Oh my. Liquid diet before and for a short time after the surgery? Holy hell. Exercise? More than once a year?? Aww nuts.
Food has always been a crutch for me. Food doesn't belittle you. It won't leave you for another woman. Food won't hit you. Food doesn't judge you or mock you. For years, food has been my friend. It's not going to be easy giving up my greatest vice. Even as I write this part of my story, my stomach rumbles at the mere thought of a bag of chips and a pint of Ben & Jerry's. The biggest challenge is going to be finding replacement activities for my eating.
Something's gotta give though. I physically cannot keep going on like this. I am afraid. There are moments I wonder just what have I signed on for? But I see my friends and family who have walked this road before me, and I know it's the right choice for me. I have no idea what it's like to be a normal weight. This is all new territory. I can't wait to see myself in a year or so, on the other end of this journey.
I have a feeling I'll be writing about facing my feelings about food quite a bit in the coming weeks. It's a lot of work, going for this gastric bypass, but I know it'll be worth it in the end.
1 comment:
You don't have to "give up" food, but you will learn to moderate and get the things you enjoy in smaller doses. Don't look at it so much as giving up as changing tracks. Thin people don't deprive themselves, they just eat less of what they like. I work in an internal medicine practice and we screen patients prior to their bariatric surgeries (they come for gastroscopy to ensure that the gastric architecture holds no surprises). They are all a bit scared, but they manage well and seem happy with the results after. FWIW, in terms of losing weight prior to surgery, the diets the bariatric patients do well on seem to be low carb i.e. Atkins, South Beach, Dukan or on a diet like Weight Watchers. I think they do well on these as they can still eat the things they like, or as in the case of the low carb they see quick results. I wish you luck on your journey and remember, the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.
Post a Comment