It's been awhile since I've blogged. I always want to write something insightful, or something witty. It never seems to work out that way though. I often think of various topics I want to write about but I end up second guessing myself. I've got to tell myself that there is nothing wrong with fluff. After all, this isn't exactly the New York Times here.
For 3 years, I've struggled with a choice of what to do about my weight. Currently, I'm 338 pounds. This is the fattest I've ever been. For the first time in my life, I'm experiencing complications due to my weight. Let me tell ya, it's pretty scary to feel like you are drowning in your own body.
Last month, I saw my primary care doctor to discuss gastric bypass surgery. He felt I would be a good candidate, and referred me to our local bariatric program. This Thursday, I take the first step in my journey towards a healthier weight.
I must admit that I am equal parts excited and terrified. After much thought and prayer, I do feel that the risks of remaining as large as I am far outweigh the risks of surgery. That said, I'm still afraid of dying on the table, as the saying goes. No mother ever wants to leave her children and no wife ever wants to leave her spouse. But, realistically, my weight means a vastly shortened life span as it is.
I know that as I go forward with this program, I will have to work through quite a few emotional issues I have with food. That's scary as well. Finding a new source of comfort and stress relief will prove challenging to me. I'm kinda glad that this program takes awhile until you are even able to schedule your surgery date. Knowing they have you go through a psych evaluation, as well as having a support group in place will make it easier to have the resources I will need.
I promise to share what I learn this week at the "info session" (the necessary first step before making an appointment with the doctors). And if any of my readers have been through WLS (weight loss surgery) and know of any questions I should be asking on Thursday, please don't hesitate to comment with them!
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