Thursday, September 27, 2012

One more week!

My kids and I at the park, taken in April '12. From left to right, the Princess, me, MonkeyMan, and Tank.
I'm one week away from undergoing RNY gastric bypass surgery. You can now see why I have resorted to such a dramatic measure as weight loss surgery (WLS). My starting weight was 355 pounds. Ok, so that's not entirely true. My starting weight was 347 pounds, but I went more than a little nuts in the month before beginning my pre-op liquid diet. I ATE ALL THE FOODS! I am currently 332 pounds, with a goal of 317 pounds by my surgery date next Wednesday. I'm confident I can make that goal.
Part of this whole process for me includes having an IVC filter placed tomorrow morning. I will admit that makes me a bit nervous. Radiology assured me that I will be nicely sedated though. Bring on the drugs, I say! But not for kids. Just say no to drugs. Crack is whack.
I began my pre-op liquid diet on 9/10. It has been one of the most challenging things I have done in my life. I'm proud of how strong I am for getting this far, but damn has it been hard. In a way, it's been incredibly empowering as well. I had a moment during the beginning stages of this diet that was like a heavenly revelation for me. My mom had brought over a box of those Hostess cupcakes with fall sprinkles for my kids. I didn't eat any of them. To find I am stronger than a cupcake was amazing!
Although I am very excited about the future and even the surgery/hospital stay itself, I do have some worries. I have no idea what I will look like once the weight is gone. I know I will need plastic surgery to remove excess skin, and probably breast lift and augmentation. But I have never been slim, or even just chubby. The idea of seeing a stranger in the mirror freaks me out. A friend recently told me this when I mentioned this concern: "You'll see the you that you know has been dying to come out. She won't be a stranger, because she's been there all along.". That's some profound shiznit right there. I'm thinking of writing it on my mirror. No joke.
The fun of all this begins next week. I'll be taking some photos just before I get put under, and continuing my little amazing melting woman photo log each month on my "surgiversary" date. I've also considered keeping my favorite outfit as a reminder of how far I will have come. This is the start of a whole new life for me. I'm looking forward to sharing the journey!

1 comment:

Gracey is not my name.... said...

Good luck! Can't wait to see the results...and I don't think I commented on your previous posts...but I want to thank you for letting me get to know my brother from the time we weren't really in touch....I have plans for most of the upcoming weekends, but if you need anything, let me know....