|My kids and I at the park, taken in April '12. From left to right, the Princess, me, MonkeyMan, and Tank.|
Part of this whole process for me includes having an IVC filter placed tomorrow morning. I will admit that makes me a bit nervous. Radiology assured me that I will be nicely sedated though. Bring on the drugs, I say! But not for kids. Just say no to drugs. Crack is whack.
I began my pre-op liquid diet on 9/10. It has been one of the most challenging things I have done in my life. I'm proud of how strong I am for getting this far, but damn has it been hard. In a way, it's been incredibly empowering as well. I had a moment during the beginning stages of this diet that was like a heavenly revelation for me. My mom had brought over a box of those Hostess cupcakes with fall sprinkles for my kids. I didn't eat any of them. To find I am stronger than a cupcake was amazing!
Although I am very excited about the future and even the surgery/hospital stay itself, I do have some worries. I have no idea what I will look like once the weight is gone. I know I will need plastic surgery to remove excess skin, and probably breast lift and augmentation. But I have never been slim, or even just chubby. The idea of seeing a stranger in the mirror freaks me out. A friend recently told me this when I mentioned this concern: "You'll see the you that you know has been dying to come out. She won't be a stranger, because she's been there all along.". That's some profound shiznit right there. I'm thinking of writing it on my mirror. No joke.
The fun of all this begins next week. I'll be taking some photos just before I get put under, and continuing my little amazing melting woman photo log each month on my "surgiversary" date. I've also considered keeping my favorite outfit as a reminder of how far I will have come. This is the start of a whole new life for me. I'm looking forward to sharing the journey!