New year, new surgery.

My super sexy belly after cholecystectomy, done 1/18/14.
Jealous, aren't you?

It's been awhile since I've blogged, and quite a bit has changed. I have no idea what date stamp will appear on this post as it's been sitting in the draft area for some time, but since it's April 1st, I figured I'd do some general updating.

Back in late December, I started having some pretty intense abdominal pain. As they say, hindsight is 20/20, and I'd had a few similar episodes that summer but chalked it up to gas. After nearly 3 weeks of constant pain, I sucked it up and made an appointment with my bariatric surgeon. I make it sound easy, but the reality is that I had friends and family alike pushing me into being seen. I'm not one to complain about pain. Honestly, I know my doc is a busy man with a huge patient caseload, so the idea of bothering him for something silly just didn't sit right with me. Mind you, he's never given me anything but quality care, or shown anything but compassion. It's just my own mental difficulties at play here I think.

Traditions for a new era.

Our holiday tree. I let go of my control issues, and let the kids decorate it entirely on their own this year.

Happy holidays!

This time of year, my thoughts seem to naturally turn to both the spiritual and traditional aspects of the holidays we celebrate in my home. For a very long time, I tried hard to be someone I'm not, and although it greatly impacted our daily existence, it took an even larger toll on how we observed nearly every holiday. Part of me regrets those 7 wasted years, yet another part acknowledges that it was time that shaped how I view the world so that's ok. 

"D" Words.

Depression. I don't like that word. Beyond the obvious one of a medical diagnosis, it holds poor emotional connotations for me. Regardless of how I feel about the word, I finally came to a place last month where I had to admit to myself that I'm struggling with depression. Ugh. Even just typing it out leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

Monday Meme

I haven't done one of these in a long while. Monday meme delight brought to you by Curious as a Cat!


1) How often do you go to a park? 
Not nearly as much as I'd like or should. With an almost 3 year old, I feel like I should live in a park. Um, In a not homeless sort of way though.

2) What is your favorite scent?
Anything that evokes "quintessential autumn" for me. Pumpkin pie/spice, mulled cider, apple cinnamon, vanilla, baked goods. Warm and spicy, those are the scents for me. This time of year, I tend to go overboard and drive Mr. P. crazy with my pumpkin obsession. Admitting one has a problem is the first step to recovery. Or so I've heard.

3) If someone rented a billboard for you, what would you put on it?
This one just makes me laugh. My bariatric program actually does have billboards all over the place. The idea of being on one intrigues and terrifies me all at once. I suppose if I had my own billboard to do with as I wish, I'd let my inner hippie peacenik go wild. Make love and coffee, not war! Coexist! Or maybe some activist info. Birth safety! Vaccinations are sexy! Either way, it'd be different.

4) Show and Tell. What comes to mind first when you see this picture? Or, tell a story if it reminds you of one.

Music! I could so climb those and get into some trouble. It's been awhile since I've gotten up to trouble making. I should go stir up some trouble...

Life After RNY: The Eleventh Month

I'm hoping this come out well, but it's my first attempt at blogging from my Kindle Fire. Going mobile doesn't always go smoothly. One of these days, I've got to remember to give my laptop over to my brother to fix.

I'm quickly closing in on my first surgiversary. One year since my gastric bypass surgery. One year since my life changed forever. I can't begin to explain all the big and little victories I've had since then. This has been the best gift I have ever given myself.

Life After RNY: The Third Month

I was going to add these pictures separately but accidentally deleted one so here you go!

Technically, I'm a smidge early on this one. January 3rd I will be 3 months out from my RNY. There are many days where I feel like I can't see any difference in my physical appearance from the weight loss, although many around me say they can definitely see a new me emerging. I decided to look through some of my older photos today, and now I can see it. I don't have a lot of full body shots, but these show how my face has changed since my surgery.

Love in a Hopeless Place

Image courtesy of Newtown Photo Memorial Project.

How do you tell your children about the deaths of children in their age range? Can you reconcile this atrocious theft of innocence for an entire community with the idea of a God who cares, and is just and good? How many parents like me have likewise hid their tears and sorrow for strangers if only so their own children won't be frightened?
The massacre at Sandy Hook School has impacted so many. I live in CT. Somewhere deep in my heart, I always felt my kids were safe, if only by virtue of living in a tiny state. Tragedies like the loss of these precious kids happened in the great land of Elsewhere. Not here. Not to ours. Evil was for places like New York, large cities so unlike any here.